SHARK WEEK!!!!!

Ahh... my favorite time of year. Better than X-mas. Better than my Birthday. Better than that day everyone has where they look back before they go to bed and think, "Man, that was a pretty freakin' good day." yep, even better than that.

Of course, I'm talking about SHARK WEEK on the Discovery Channel! One full week of shark related programming, covering everything from the anatomy of a shark attack, to the less-than-delicate intricasies of shark nookie. I ask you this; does it get any better than that? Ya know what, don't even bother answering 'cause everyone knows it doesn't.

This year I learned that the Great White may have the most powerful bite, but it's the Tiger Shark who's bite is the most dangerous. Why? Because of the saw-like teeth of the Tiger Shark, which will saw through flesh and bone like a warm knife through melted butter.

I learned that a 'grenade' filled with the hormone that sharks's release when they're afraid of something with make a dozen sharks in the middle of a feeding frenzy scatter faster than a lactose intolerant man who's eaten an entire ice cream cake.

I learned that surfers and swimmers are more likely shark attack targets not because they look like seals (as was the case during last year's SHARK WEEK), but instead because wounded fish and other sea-creatures can always be found on the surface, and any predator is going to naturally go after a wounded creature first.

I learned the Hammerhead Sharks have electromagnetic sensors under their 'noses' which allows then to 'see' their prey, even if it's buried underground! So, in essence, they can 'see' a creature's 'aura'! Holy crap!! Sharks are like Psychic Mediums on top of being miracles of evolution!!

I learned that a certain type of shark starts hunting prey while in it's mother's womb. That's right... prenatal cannbalism. (hey, even I couldn't make that up!)

I learned that there is less than 1 shark attack related death in the U.S. (on average) each year, yet there are 130 deer attack related deaths! Who knew Bambi was so goddamn bitter!!

And lastly, I learned that I can tolerate over 4 hours of shark related programming a night. Awesome...

The only bad thing about SHARK WEEK? Easy... the fact that it always comes to an end.